Some of my amigas have been asking...so here is the update - no Travis is not in the scene...and yes he pretty much was only back in the scene for the awards ceremony. Oh well. No, I am not on Match right now - too busy painting and shit around the house, the yard is almost done. So now I am painting inside stuff. No, I haven't met anyone that meets the Mr. LTRTWNEID criteria.
As many of my beloved friends know from reading my little piece of literature...I put a little something in there about the men my age wanting younger women. So f*&kin true....case in point....did you know that Kenny Chesney, who is like 37 or 38, is dating...who? She’s how old? Yeah - she is freaking 24. You know what? I hope they get married next week and then when she leaves him in a couple of years for someone her own age - I will say "Ha, told ya so."
I give up - I surf through profiles out here and all I see are freakin' hoes that put half nekked or full nekked pix online. I see hot guys who have all these "hot but yet still a freakin' hoe due to the skankness of their picture chicks" on their profiles. Good God.
I mean - all I am asking for is a hot man, who is not stupid, can hold a freakin conversation about more than just sports, & is passionate about something in life other than sports teams that he doesn't play on because he is a couch potato.
Let's face it chicks - I am royally screwed. The problem is I think that I am actually a living breathing contradiction of sorts. Smart enough to get into grad school but hate those academic, elitist sorts who sit around and philophize over their foreign beer. I like to drop the F bomb a lot in my conversations. I am not butt ass ugly. I am proud of my inner redneck but do have all my teeth and a college degree. I have achieved a lot of professional success but am so sick and tired of being hit on by 60 year old business men who want a young hot blonde bitch on their arm. Oh...add to the list that I don't drink anymore so a lot of guys think that I won't be any fun anymore or that I don't want to be around drinking. Please, trust me, if I could I would love to have a frosty mug of bud light....but I think we all know where that would lead.
I am feeling a mite bit cynical and pessimistic about the state of the union. The union being me and Mr. LTRTWNEID. Okay, I am going to be cranky for about nine more minutes and then I will be done with my crankiness. (I only let myself get down on life for a certain time limit - and this week's limit is up soon).
Monday June 19, 2006
Okay - I have put some more thought into my last blog entry. I am so cranky about this lack of a compatible male for me and I really have no right to be ill with my younger and much sexier female single sisters. See, I too once was the younger end of the 14 year old age difference. So yes, I am being incredibly hypocritical. Bad Judy.
What goes around comes around - so this my karmic bitch slap. So I guess I gotta take it in stride.
Monday June 19, 2006 Middle of the Afternoon When I Should Really be Working
I know that I am beleaguering the point of the lack of male compatibility - it is probably due to the lack of good fulfilling sex. I wish that there was some type of screening or reference process for sexual ratings. Like, you will know that a person is a 7 on a scale of 10 versus a 2 ahead of time. See then you have not wasted valuable time with all the getting to know each other stuff.
Tuesday June 20, 2006
A few last points of thought to this Lack of a Compatible Male Blog which clearly I am obsessing over.....
See girls mature faster than boys...so a 36 year old woman and a 24 year old guy - I am not intrigued by the idea mainly because if you had to choose between a boy and a man...why would you take the boy? No offense to men of that age range. It is just a preference issue. You know different strokes and all that. I mean good for Demi...but see I would have probably kept Bruce Willis around. You know I do like the bald men (please reference ex-husband 1 and ex-husband 2).
Plus I have also determined, as it was pointed out to me many many times that it will be very hard to find a man who a) isn't a freakin wuss and intimidated by me b) a man strong enough to put up with me and not let me walk all over him and c) a man who is in the same financial tax bracket as me.
Then of course there is the book - cuz a man has to be able to handle the fact that my life is an open book. I previously was in a situation of mandatory privateness of the private life and c'mon...ya'll know me...I can't keep a secret much less not talk about my life...hello...I am a writer. Shit. Which leads to another point - I cuss, I say fuck, I say shit, I don't say GD too much, and that is a rarity. And yes...I know I need to clean it up when I become a mommy. I am aware of the situation. But really - it does annoy the shit out of me at work when it is okay for Lou to say "that fuckin sucks" but for me to say it - it is an issue. Fuck that. Free speech and all.
So...there ya go. Oh - and not to mention that he has to sign a prenup because now I trust no one until a John Hancock on the dotted line of a legal document, plus the "40 year old virgin" rule - not me, the movie. No sex for 20 dates - because I am not allowed to make decisions unless head, heart and heated loins are in alignment. Please reference my book. Seriously, buy the freakin' book. What is the point of telling my story if I am not going to promote it?
I had always wanted a nose job. Yes. I always bitched about my nose. Didn't like it, wanted a new one. A cute perky one. Well after having to provide bedside care for my stepson after some surgery for a broken nose...I changed my platform on rhinoplasty.
It seemed to be too much pain to endure. It really was not a pretty sight, all those bloody wraps and gauze stuff up your nasal cavity. Ick. Double Ick.
Then as I turned mid thirties...I decided it would be time to start investigating Botox for my stress line between my brows. I was giving myself about five years to think about it and would not take any action until I turn 40.
However, I met someone who had recently "partaken" Botox "therapy". Hmmm...I pondered the quandary - her mouth is moving, her eyes are twinkling, I can see her nose twitch...but the forehead...it makes no movement. It is not moving. At all. Weird. Very weird indeed.
It appeared waxy, kind of shiny...and almost plasticy. Like resin plastic. Weird. Very weird indeed. It was at that point I realized God made bangs for a reason. Bangs are good. They are low maintenance, not painful and provide camouflage for the stress line.
I realize that the Me at 36 is so much better than the Me at 26. The 26 year old me, she was needy, clingy, isolating, bitchy, mean, had a lot of walls built up, and a lot of anger inside. That Me ended up being the same me at 34. Then I realized in late 2005 - all those Me's....they were the same Me as the 17 year old Me.
I may have been a successful business owner, with frames hanging on the wall, I may have plugged away lots of hours studying all kinds of stuff to be a Different Me. But....that was just the outside. The inside stayed the same.
The 17 year old Me had to go. We had to break up. It was hard, it was tough, but it was time. I had stayed with her for way too long. She had overstayed her welcome. She knew it was time.
So - there was a ritual of sorts in the sands of Cinnamon Bay. I even cried a little. It is hard letting go of something that has been a part of you for so many years. 19 years to be exact. The ritual had been performed a few days after my 36th birthday.
The 36 year old Me, she is here with me right now. She is amazing. Frankly, she fuckin’' rocks. And I like her just the way she is. I tell her she needs to lose probably about seven pounds and she needs to exercise a little more. But, overall - she is fabulous just the way she is. She is all good. And really, if she doesn't lose those seven pounds...I don't care - I'll take her just the way she is right now. Sitting here with her hair in a pony tail, no makeup on, sipping on diet coke and just loving life.
Pretty soon - this house, which is known as the Redneck Yacht Club, will be filled with lots of Cores. 14 more to be exact. Yep, 14 and I love it! My sister/cousins and all the young-ins ranging from 20 to 16 months.
It is good to be me.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Aging Well Current mood: bouncy
It came to my attention this morning that is quite delightful to see people who age well. As I do most of the time that I am at home, I have CMT on in the background.
This morning, I happen to glance up from my day job work and catch George Strait staring back at me. Now there is a man who has aged well. Delightfully well. He is a very handsome man. Very classic. All-American. The original cowboy.
It reminded me of men who have not aged so well. Michael Douglas - he is on that list. The List of Those Who Have Not Aged So Well. A funny side story to this topic...many months ago, my friend Tammy was picking me up and we were going on some Specific Adventure.
I happen to wonder aloud if she had seen the new Kenny video. No, not Chesney....but Rogers. Kenny Rogers, you know - the Gambler, Lucille, that one. She has not. So I proceed to inform her that he is looking "fit", quite the "Silver Fox" these days.
After coming out of the coma I was sent into from my head slamming into the front windshield, I realize that she was thrown into a state of Utter Disbelief. Disbelief at the fact that I obviously was so mentally distressed due to the lack of a man that I was now finding a 67 year old male attractive.
Of course I had to defend myself - he had cut his hair and had a goatee. He also had on sunglasses and was kind of far away in the video. Only after I caught a close up of his face...his NEW face...did I realize that some plastic surgeons had gotten a wee bit overzealous with their art.
I chalk it up to the mysterious effect that the Goatee has over me. I am blinded by reality when a goatee appears. Even the most unattractive male can appear to be mildly sexy with the help of the goatee.
Add a freaking cowboy hat and the ugliest creature that has ever walked the face of the earth AT A DISTANCE - will appear like a tall drink of water...or a smooth shot of whiskey.
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